If Only a Name Badge Could Do All This

If you’re like me, you have mixed feelings about “networking meetings.” There’s always the chance that you’ll meet someone really interesting and make a genuine connection, but you’ll also spend a lot of time peering at name badges and business cards in between sips of coffee and bites of mini-muffins.

This fall, Essential Partners has been offering workshops to people who work in Boston-area nonprofits. Most recently—thanks to the co-sponsorship of the Division of Public Health Practice at the Harvard School of Public Health—we have held free workshops for providers and advocates in HIV/Aids work. In these meetings, we've found that people appreciate the chance to learn about dialogue and about connecting across divides. But even more than that, people value getting to know one another.

You’ve been at this meeting: sitting in a room full of people, waiting patiently for your turn to recite your name and job title.  Imagine instead an introduction in which you hear about an experience that each person has had of connecting with someone very different from them.

You’ve also been in the group that’s held hostage by someone who wants to talk about a problem they’re having, who won’t shut up, someone who offers (in today’s parlance) TMI (Too Much Information). Imagine instead a chance to ask them questions about their dilemma, not so that they can respond, but so that you can both explore the effects of particular questions.

Imagine leaving a two-hour meeting feeling like you learned something meaningful about every other person there, and like you shared something meaningful about yourself.  In our everyday lives, in our professional situations as well as our social and emotional lives, many of us don’t have permission—much less encouragement—to express ourselves fully and deeply. And we certainly don’t have the opportunity or inclination to do so with people who have different values or worldviews. 

But imagine if we did. If we had conversational practices—habits!—for engaging with each other, even when divides are deep, and when understanding—and even interaction—seem impossible or undesirable. Crafting good questions is one of those conversational practices that can transform relationships in every sphere, from the personal to the professional to the political.

We offer these community workshops with the hope that we’ll all develop the capacity to ask the kinds of questions we really want to answer, questions that bring us together even as they help us explore our infinite variety and possibility.